Dec 25, 2011
SOFLAM, MAV, TUGS, WTF and many more have all been included in the most recent installment of DICE and EA’s Battlefield franchise. Months of decision making, heated discussions and alleged crossing offs from Christmas card lists resulted in the final cast of weapons in the completed game.
Old faithfuls such as the AN-94 and M60 were destined to be there from the start, while the surprise inclusion of the USAS-12 surely resulted in some unflattering ‘Secret Santa’ gifts.
However, there are rumours of other weapons that did not make it to the final game for a number of reasons, the largest being that of balance. With no counter to some of these weapons it is assumed that they were considered far too overpowered for the Battlefield series (although we may see them in the Call of Duty franchise at some point in the future).
Exclusively, BackslashGaming.com is able to publish the list:
With long flowing locks, posable limbs and a wardrobe to die for the Dolly (similar to Sindy or Barbie) acts more as a distraction than as a weapon of destruction hence it’s inclusion at #10. Once deployed, any enemy soldier will become fixated and become concerned about their sexuality while wondering whether the silk two piece, or smart business suit is the best choice you can stealthily dispatch him with impunity. Here’s to the power of women!
These harmless looking bulls have caused many a downfall of the unwary. From becoming a slip/trip hazard to causing a punch up because the yellow was clearly out these small glass spheres should be treated with respect, and a little bit of awe. Deployed offensively or defensively they can be either a distraction or a potentially fatal hazard. Think of them as the playground equivalent of the claymore.
The humble cup of tea. Rumour has it that this weapon of mass distraction failed to make it in due to the potential alienation of the North American market. Potentially it could have been patched to be coffee for the Yanks, but rather than cause a potentially damaging international incident the hot beverage was dropped from all versions. This was probably for the best. Any weapon capable of making someone sit down and do nothing for ten minutes has no place in a modern FPS.
Underestimated in so many real wars, the beach ball promises so much and delivers so little. As distraction tool it is invaluable. It’s revolutionary lightweight materials make it difficult to catch when caught by even the lightest of breezes. Placed in the open it creates an area of caution as advancing enemy get to cover in the hope that a ladies beach volley ball game is about to begin.
Originally top of the list of included weapons of attachments, and also included in some pre-alpha releases, the skeletal warrior was finally canned when glaring similarities with characters in the Elder Scrolls franchise were identified. Although the origins can be traced to the 1981 film Clash of the Titans it was thought that too many people would be confused between the two games.
The bee was initially dropped in favour of the more annoying wasp as a way of controlling the campers and their little picnic spots. However early coding problems caused significant problems when, due to an amusing logic loop, they were capable of snatching jets out of the air. Instead, the sand flea was included for no other reason than mirth.
Sources report that many different knife configurations were tested in pre-alpha builds. Unfortunately for the Swiss Army Knife there were too many options and conflicts with the (also dropped) Command Rose meant that some users would end up taking out the little tool for extracting stones from horses hooves when asking for ammunition. Medpack requests were also rumoured to result in suicide by corkscrew.
Hannibal used elephants to cross the Alps in order to give the Romans a kick up the pants so they have a history of being used as weapons. The idea of including an angry elephant as a weapon may seem far fetched, but an angry elephant makes for a formidable armament. Some say that the computing power required to include them was excessive and so they had to go, others point out that an angry elephant just sort of squishes the nearest squishy thing to it and so was not such a good idea. Either way, angry elephant gets a well deserved third place.
From Captain Hook to the story of the Hook Handed Hitch-hiker, the hook for a hand has been something to strike fear into the most steely of hearts. Although initial testing went well there were a number of questions raised about which hand it should replace and whether or not you should suicide when wiping your bum with the wrong hand.
Despite claims to the contrary, the spork has never made it in to any Battlefield title. It is accepted that sometimes the combat knife is as effective as the spork in usage against an enemy, but the physical item has always been omitted from retail versions. Although capable of giving a nasty friction burn if used with enough fury, the ultimate decision not to include it was decided by the confusion that was likely when the actual combat knife failed to have the desired effect.
As such, the Spork gets the coveted top spot of weapons that didn’t make it in to Battlefield 3.
David Nicol is a gamer, blogger, podcaster and video creator based in the UK. Find me on:
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